Dealing With Pornography Addiction

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)

posted Feb 9, 2016, 9:21 AM by Snehalaya Web   [ updated Feb 9, 2016, 9:21 AM ]

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) 

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is a twelve-step program for people recovering from sex addiction and love addiction. S.L.A.A. is sometimes known as the Augustine Fellowship, because early members saw many of their shared symptoms described by St. Augustine of Hippo in his work Confessions. SLAA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from sex, pornography and relationship addiction.

On an experimental basis a new SLAA group meeting will be held at Snehalaya Family Service Centre, 1st Floor, Victoria School Campus, L.J. Road; Mahim, Mumbai – 400016 on second and fourth Tuesdays of the month on working days. First meeting will be held on Tuesday, 16th February 2016 (6 – 7pm). Snehalaya office Tel. 2444 8218 (10 am – 1pm & 2.30 – 7pm)

Online SLAA meetings will be held every Sunday between 11 am – 12 noon. To join the online group from any part of the world please log on to


posted Aug 9, 2015, 9:58 PM by Snehalaya Web   [ updated Aug 13, 2015, 11:05 PM ]

Pornography is the new plague negatively impacting individuals, married couples, youth, children and families. Pornography refers to the explicit representation of sexual activity in forms like print or film to stimulate erotic feelings. Snehalaya has conducted a research study on the prevalence of the problem and impact of pornography on family life and to come up with effective ways of helping families deal with this addiction.

We are organizing a workshop for counselors, helping professionals, teachers, parents and youth animators to enlighten them on how to help individuals cope and deal with the addiction to pornography, and to work towards prevention. The workshop will help you understand the stages of addiction to pornography and accompany the afflicted person to recovery.

Date: Thursday, 27th August 2015 

Topic: Pornography, sex addiction and recovery 

Speakers: Fr. Cajetan Menezes & Dr. Yolande Pereira 

Venue: Salvation Seva Kendra, A/c Hall, S.K. Bole Road, 
Dadar, Mumbai 400 028 

Time: 4.00 p.m. to 8.00 p.m. 

Registration and resource materials: Rs. 200/- per person.

Click on the links below to download the registration form (pdf or doc).

Does Porn Impact The Brain

posted Mar 24, 2015, 1:45 AM by Snehalaya Web   [ updated Mar 24, 2015, 1:58 AM ]

10 Steps to Overcoming Pornography Addiction

posted Mar 20, 2015, 9:55 PM by Snehalaya Web   [ updated Mar 20, 2015, 9:55 PM ]

Hurting Marriage| By Stephen Arterburn

1. First, you must acknowledge the addiction exists. Many who are caught in the trap of addiction will adamantly deny the problem. He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. - Proverbs 28:13

2. You must recognize that what you are doing is wrong. Addicts find a way to justify their problem in their mind. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. - I John 2:16

3. You must not blame others – “If my wife/husband were just more affectionate.” … “If women/men were not so seductive.” Adam blamed Eve and she blamed the serpent. Instead, you must begin to take responsibility for your actions.

4. Make yourself accountable to a spiritual authority, perhaps a pastor or mature believer. Everybody needs a “safe” person to share their struggles with. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. - James 5:16

5. You must recognize that “will power” is not the answer. At a weak moment, your “will” may fail you. By admitting that you are in need of God’s help, you open access to His supernatural intervention in your life. You must yield your will to God’s will. That’s when He can begin a new work in your life.

6. Study the Word of God concerning sexual purity. Therefore putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the Word implanted, which is able to save your souls. – James 1:21

7. You must destroy any pornography in your possession. You can’t wean yourself off pornography. Think of the hidden pornography in your home as a ticking time bomb that will ultimately destroy your family.

8. You must learn to flee temptation. Self-deception may enter when you think you can play with fire without getting burned. Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it. Turn away from it and pass on. – Proverbs 4:14,15

9. Give yourself time to work through the process of recovery. More often than not, God chooses to take us through a learning and growing process, that can be very painful. Victory over addiction should be viewed as a marathon, not a sprint.

10. It’s cliche, but you must approach your addiction one day at a time. Look for little victories and rejoice in the progress you’re making. Recovery is a cinch by the inch, but a trial by the mile.

Used by permission of New Life Ministries. New Life Ministries has a variety of resources on men, women and relationships. visit

Dealing With Pornography Addiction in Your Youth Group

posted Mar 20, 2015, 9:53 PM by Snehalaya Web   [ updated Mar 20, 2015, 9:53 PM ]

Dealing With Pornography Addiction in Your Youth Group

Everyone who is addicted to pornography is trying to fill some void in his life.

by Tim Roberts

After a youth group meeting, a young man named Brian walks over and wants to talk to you privately. Sensing something serious, you take Brian back to the office to talk. Even before a word is out of Brian's mouth, you notice his nervousness. Brian begins to tell you of his battle with pornography and masturbation and how it has started to control his life. He is obviously frustrated and sick of his actions. He has come to you to find help. As Brian is talking, you begin to pray that God would give you the wisdom to help him. But you are still sitting there wondering, "What do I do?"

Pornography is an addiction that becomes an obsession for a number of reasons. Everyone who is addicted to pornography is trying to fill some void in his life. It may be the affects of childhood abuse, relational problems or emotional pain. Because there are many roots to this addiction, it is often hard to find and heal the real reasons behind it, especially when we have no professional training. However, having at least a basic understanding of what can cause such an addiction will help us in getting the person back on track. Here are a few practical starting points for helping someone in your youth group who is addicted to pornography, based on personal experience and research.

First of all, when a student comes with this sensitive problem, we must not look down on him. We are all sinners. The last thing he needs is condemnation. Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (NIV). Gene McConnell, who deals extensively with pornography addiction, reminds us in his book, Pornography and Addiction, that "addicts must know that the Lord does not despise people who are in captivity — locked in behavior patterns they can't break." We all have sinned and God does not have a hierarchy on sins. He wants all of us to break free from the sins and addictions that hold us captive. Instead of condemnation, we need to listen to the student and understand the depth of the addiction to pornography.

You might think calling it an addiction is harsh. Any sin that takes over one's life is an addiction. We need to know how deep the student's addiction is so that we know what help he needs to break the hold it has on his life. Once we have heard his story, it is important to let him know that we do not look down on him. We need to communicate that we are willing to do what we can to help him find freedom from this addiction. If we forget to show these students God's love, we are going to do more harm than good. The student must know that you have his best interests in mind and that you will keep it confidential unless it involves activities that are harmful to himself or others.

In dealing with young people who are addicted to pornography, we must try to understand if they want to fight this because they are truly sick of it or because they have other motives. For example, some students might try to fight it in order to gain acceptance from the ones giving them the help. They may be attempting to fill an emotional emptiness in their lives. In my own battle with pornography, I did this numerous times. For almost two years, this was a pattern in my life. I would lie to my youth pastors when they would ask me how I was doing with my lust and my surfing the Internet. I wanted to be accepted. I felt that if I failed in the area of purity during the week, my youth pastors would not accept me.

Once we know that students truly want to deal with this addiction, we need to encourage them to get rid of all of their pornography. Then, we must help them devise a plan to avoid returning to it. This may include getting filters or filtered Internet access, having the family move the computer to a public place, or going to the extent of no longer using the Internet. All of these options really depend on the relationship the student has with his parents, how serious the problem is, and how much he really wants to fight this problem.

In putting a plan in to action, accountability should be part of it since we can not fight this battle alone. It is vital that someone keeps the student accountable. It can be you, another youth leader, a parent or a special group dealing with this issue.

The student also needs to know that he is not alone in the battle against pornography. He needs to be reminded that there are others who struggle, too. The devil tries to make those struggling believe that they are the only ones with such feelings, but it is not true. It is also important to recognize that this addiction seriously affects one's relationship with God and that they will need help in rebuilding that relationship. They will further need to change how they view others. Pornography teaches those who view it many lies about sexuality that need to be addressed. Here are two sets of examples of these lies:

  • Sex with anyone, under any circumstances, any way it is desired, is beneficial and does not have negative consequences.
  • Women have one value — to meet the sexual demands of men.
  • Marriage and children are obstacles to sexual fulfillment.
  • Everyone is involved in promiscuous sexual activity, infidelity and premarital sex

(Excerpted from "The Effects of Pornography and Sexual Messages.")

  • Women are less than human.
  • Women are a 'sport'.
  • Women are property.
  • A woman's value depends on the attractiveness of her body.
  • Women like rape."

(Excerpted from "In Your Face ... In Your Mind: Resisting the Power of Pornography.")

To keep another person accountable, you must constantly let him know that you care about how he is doing with his battle and that you are not going to look down on him if he continues to struggle. It is a challenge for him to be honest, but you must encourage it. He is only going to further hurt himself by lying.

As part of the battle plan, we must also help these pornography victims find alternatives to their previous behavior. This will help provide freedom from this addiction. Students needs to begin to replace their addictive behaviors with healthy alternatives to their temptations. An addiction to pornography is one that is often acted upon in private and late at night in place of schoolwork and developing relationships. So we need to encourage them to find activities to be involved in, ways to keep from being tempted when they are likely to be tempted, and steps to get them back on a normal track. It often takes time and a significant amount of effort to develop new behaviors and practices that will replace their urge to seek pornography as an escape to life's problems.

To the pornography addict, it takes a lot of energy and purposefulness in all that we do to not run to the Internet to dull the pain of life or when we are bored. It is a battle. But it is one that we must fight. We need to replace the destructive habits of our addiction with ones that are constructive. From personal experience, I know that it takes a large effort to stop doing what seems to come so naturally since it has become a habit in our lives.

It is important to recognize that some students may be beyond the level of support and help that we are able to give because of our limited education about pornography or understanding of the issue. Some students may be so deep into the addiction that they need to seek professional counseling. If you need to find such a counselor, call the Focus on the Family counseling department for a recommendation in your area.

When involving a counselor, it is often necessary to involve the parents as well. This can be a really complicated situation to deal with. However, when the student's safety and best interests are at stake, it is something that is inevitable. Some parents are easy to involve and others are difficult to involve. The student needs to have some say in how this is handled. The parents may not have a complete understanding of what is involved in the Internet. It is important that, whatever steps are taken in this area, you follow your church's policy or talk with a Christian counselor and establish guidelines for parental involvement.

These basic steps should guide you when it is necessary to help a person who is struggling with pornography addiction. And, of course, steps will vary according to each individual situation. In the case of my addiction, some of the steps, like parental involvement, were not used because I did not have a strong relationship with my parents. In fact, the youth pastors who helped me, while they were doing their best, did not see all that was going on and they did not seek to bring complete healing. Eventually, I got sick of my continual struggle with pornography and had friends who were willing to keep me accountable and challenge me in my walk with Christ. That is when I saw results start to happen.

My passion is to see pastors and churches talking about the dangers of pornography and bringing healing to those in and around the church. The sooner that we are able to bring healing and hope to those we are struggling, the quicker we will be able to break the devil's hold on God's children.

Article copyright , Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

About the author

Tim Roberts wrote this article while he was a student at the Focus on the Family Institute and serving as an intern in the Pastoral Ministries department.

Overcome Pornography Addiction

posted Mar 20, 2015, 9:51 PM by Snehalaya Web   [ updated Mar 20, 2015, 9:52 PM ]

Pornography Addiction Counselling


Written by Joe Zychik

A pornography addiction can best be described as an obsessive relationship with a fantasy.

 It is a special class of sex addiction distinct from promiscuity, compulsive masturbation, anonymous sex, pedophilia, phone sex, fetishes, voyeurism, etc. For some sexually addicted people, pornography has little appeal. For others, their entire sex addiction revolves around pornography. For many others, pornography is a supplement to their regular sexually addictive behavior. 

Pornography gives the user the illusion that each and every one of his or her addictive sexual compulsions can be met through fantasy. It can be described as an obsessive relationship with a fantasy. Pornography, like any other sex addiction, becomes the user's fix. The user becomes so enraptured, they end up destroying good relationships, spending hours and sometimes days cruising the Internet for porn and throwing out thousands of dollars on illusions.

At first it is almost impossible for someone caught up in a pornography addiction to believe that he or she can find real sexual enjoyment and better sexual pleasure with a person instead of a fantasy. However, with effective counseling, a genuine relationship does become the pornography addicted person's preferred sexual interest.

Some people addicted to pornography would rather have sex with their partner than with a pornographic fantasy. Yet, they keep returning to pornography because they don't know how to overcome their addiction. For them, learning and applying the principles of overcoming addiction is the issue.

Some pornography addicts believe they have the best of both worlds: their relationship and their addiction. Their belief is mistaken. In fact, they live with a severely limited relationship and a hidden addiction. One of the great rewards of overcoming a pornography addiction is the ability to be fully committed to another person in a loving way, having nothing to hide and enjoying great, loving sex.

The Pornography Addiction Interview

Pornography addiction and responsibilities: Do you neglect responsibilities to surf the Internet for pornography?

Progressive pornography addiction: Have you noticed that your need for pornography has increased over time?

Pornography addiction and relationships: If you are in a relationship, has your partner complained about being neglected?

Dependency and pornography addiction: If you are not in a relationship, have you ever felt that pornography is your one consistent companion?

Finances and pornography addiction: Do you wish you could stop spending so much money on pornography?

Obsession and pornography addiction: Do you have favorite pornography stars?

Real life and pornography addiction: Do you find that the more you use pornography the less interested you become in real life?

Shame and pornography addiction: Do you sneak or hide your use of pornography?

Loss of control and pornography addiction: Do you find that you cannot tear yourself away from pornography?

Effects of pornography addiction on relationships: Have you lost relationships in the past because of your pornography use?

Conflict and pornography addiction: Is a relationship you are in now threatened because of your pornography use?

Escape and pornography addiction: Do you wish that you could spend all your time watching pornography?

Alienation and pornography addiction: Do you feel that people do not understand your use of pornography?

Sexual impotency and pornography addiction, part I: Are you dependant on pornography as a stimulant for real sex?

Sexual impotency and pornography addiction, part II: Do you find that you can be sexually potent with pornography but not with a real person?

If reading through these questions aroused feelings of "that's me and I wish it wasn't so," you are addicted to pornography and you are not happy about it.

With an effective approach and honesty on your part, you can overcome your addiction and reap the benefits of living life in reality, and discovering that fantasy sex is not nearly as enjoyable as genuine, loving sex.

If you already know that the best sex is loving sex with a real person, then you simply need to learn the principles of effectively overcoming a sex addiction and how to apply them. 

CONFESSIONS PROMPT CHURCH STUDY ON SMUT - Most boys saw pornography first in class V

posted Mar 20, 2015, 12:37 AM by Snehalaya Web   [ updated Mar 20, 2015, 9:48 PM ]

Mar 20 2015 : Mirror (Mumbai)

CONFESSIONS PROMPT CHURCH STUDY ON SMUT - Most boys saw pornography first in class V

Jyoti Shelar TWEETS @jyotishelar

And most schoolgirls saw porn first in class VII. The survey covered 16 of the city's parishes and 7 colleges
A survey of the porn viewing habits of two groups of people in 16 of the city's parishes and seven of its col leges has revealed that 75 per cent of unmarried men aged between 15 and 25 are first exposed to smut at age 9 and the same percentage of women belonging to that demographic consume pornography at age 12.
The four-month-long study, which will be released on Sunday at Sacred Heart Church in Santacruz, to mark diocesan prolife day, was conducted by the Snehalaya Family Service Centre of Archdiocese of Bombay.

The groups polled belonged to two categories; Group A: 422 men and women aged 21 and above and married, and Group B: 545 men and women between ages 15 and 25 and unmarried. (Mumbai Mirror has allocated these labels to the categories for the purpose of clarity.) A majority of those surveyed in Group A (65 per cent) were Christian, with those of various other denominations making up the rest of the sample size. In Group B, the portion identifying as Christian was 41 per cent.

Most of the unmarried men who answered a questionnaire circulated by 100 volunteers of the Centre said they first viewed porn in class 5. The same percentage of girls in that category filled in that section as class 8.

Of the married people polled, 60 per cent of women stated they were exposed to porn after completing senior college (31 per cent of these said they first viewed pornographic material after they were married. “In almost all cases, the exposure for women after marriage was through the spouse,“ said Nisha D'costa, one of the co-coordinators of the study.

According to her, the exercise was prompted by, among other reasons, increasing instances of the faithful seeking forgiveness in the confessional for having watched porn on mobile phones or computers (see box).

According to the findings, both men and women admitted that pornography “fed fantasies and showed an unreal world“. Twentyeight per cent of women polled (in both groups) said they felt degraded by such material.

Director of the Family Service Centre, Father Cajetan Menezes, said the church is of the opinion that people are yet to treat viewing of pornography as problematic. “For now, we are simply starting by telling them that pornography is a problem and it will

1-7 of 7